Being Single Causes Alcoholism

One of the main reasons I ended my last relationship was due to my strong curiosity with the single life. After spending nearly a decade as a girlfriend I began fantasizing about answering to no one and living free to do as I please. As a woman in my twenties, with two long-term situations under my belt, I felt I owed it to myself to be alone for a while. What I've come to realize is, being single is dangerous. At least it is for me.

Single people consume massive amounts of alcohol. It's true! Almost every time I interact with a fellow single, liquor is involved. Perhaps I happen to know a lot of drunks, or perhaps - and this is the one I'm going to go with - single people have nothing better to do than drink, get drunk, and attempt to get laid. Amidst this drinking and attempting, I am somewhere wandering around, wondering what the hell is going on. I equate being single to nothing more than liver sabotage.

Ok, maybe I'm making things seem worse than they really are. Although I'm exhausted, and probably permanently intoxicated, the past year has most definitely been fun. I've truly enjoyed getting all of the crazy out of my system by doing whatever the hell I want. It's been nice not worrying if my actions will screw with anyone else's head. I can make out with whomever I want, whenever I want, and no one gets hurt. The problem is, to remain single I have kept people at arms length so attachments do not develop, and as time goes by, this is becoming harder. So hard in fact, I'm actually repulsed with being single.

It's not as if I'll jump into the first set of arms that'll take me. Not at all! This time around I am super picky, which doesn't mean good things for potential suitors. Within the first five minutes of meeting a guy I've already decided whether or not I'm interested in pursuing something more than my usual mind games. Usually I don't want anything more, usually. Lately though, I've been feeling unusual.

Being as "alternative" as I am, I'm having trouble relating to the people around me. No one seems to really understand or get me. I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with the isolation I have unintentional forced myself into. I feel friendless in the world. Sorry friends, it's true. I'm tired of the bullshit routine each weekend but, what's a girl to do? I can't force a connection with someone. I guess I'll just have to wait it out. And another shot gets poured.